Bern, here are some simple and very effective ways to slow things down when you are feeling emotionally and physically out of balance. It takes some practice but once you are in the habit of taking a few moments to resource yourself it becomes second nature. One way to start incorporating them into daily life is to post them in places where you will see them easily — the car, bathroom mirror, refrigerator, etc. Heck, tattooing them onto your arm wouldn’t be such a bad idea either!

Try a few and find what works for you and toss the rest. Here you go…

1. PAUSE — Stop what you are doing and remind yourself to come back to the present moment.

2. ADMIT — recognize and admit you are disregulated or fragmented and remind yourself you’ve been this way before and you came out of that and you will come out of this.

3. FEET — Feel your feet. Make contact with the ground. (Take your shoes off.)

4. NAME — Feel your body sensations and say them out loud.

5. BREATH — Rest your hands on your lower abdomen �” Breathe slowly into your lower abdomen, letting the inhale raise your hands. Exhale slowly (count of 5 �” 10). Repeat as necessary.

6. EYES — Name objects and their colors in rapid succession (at least 10).

7. DRINK — Drink a glass of water slowly. The sensation can help bring you back to calm.

8. OUTSIDE — Go outside for a minute and take some deep breaths. Notice the surroundings. Walk slowly for a minute.

9. GET HELP — Call a good friend — one who can empathize and help you get grounded.

10. MAKE CONTACT — Eye contact, touch and sweet sounds are the fastest way out of disregulation.

11. SELF TALK — “I’m safe” “I’m strong” “I can handle it” “I’m ready” “I decide how I react” “I’m feeling…”

Adapted from Paris’ I’ll Never do to My Kids What My Parents Did to Me!” A Guide To Conscious Parenting.